Marriage Counseling as a Last Resort?

I see a lot of couples in my office who are striving to better their
relationships and, often, save their relationships. The disturbing
trend I see is couples therapy or marriage counseling being used as a
last resort. Many couples will tell me that they have tried psychiatric
medication (often antidepressants) and different forms of arguing, as
well as separations, threats of lawsuits, and who knows what else. Of
course...this is all before trying couples therapy.

The problem I see is that many couples do not look for finding ways to
better their communication, appreciate one another, or develop ways to
settle differences. Instead, they are often caught up on who is right
or how to get revenge. When all else has failed and they are on the
brink of ending it forever, the couple calls me.

Marriage counseling and couples therapy works best when it is one of the
first resorts--not last. When therapy is the last resort, there is an
incredible amount of pressure put on each partner, as well as me! It is
much more difficult for therapy to help a couple reverse years of bad
habits, compared to helping the couple address these issues early on.

I urge couples to think about therapy as the second resort, instead of
the last one on the list. If you have waited to use therapy as a last
resort, there is plenty of hope. However, it will be more difficult and
probably require more sessions compared to that couple who used therapy
early on.

Many people view couples counseling as too expensive. However, I can
assure you that your visit with me will be just a very small fraction of
the cost of a divorce...and think about the heartache you may save.

Getting the Most out of Skype Therapy

When clients talk with me via phone or Skype, there are often things
they can do to better their experience. I want you to get the most out
of your session, so please look over these tips.

Tips for bettering your session:

Treat this session the same as you would if you were in my office.

Put the appointment on your calendar so it is not a surprise when I call
you! (this happens a lot)

Make sure you are in a quiet place, which is free from distractions.

Don't drive and talk!

Keep yourself focused during the discussion…don't try to do housework or
surf the web.

Give yourself 30 minutes before and after the session to think about our
discussion.

If you disagree with something I say, speak your mind! The last thing I
want is for you to just quit talking with me because you are upset. Who
knows, maybe I misheard you, which caused my response to be wrong.

Remember that some body language is missed over Skype (and all of it on
the phone), so please don't be afraid to be more verbally expressive.