MANAGE your anger. CONTROL your anxiety. STOP having panic attacks. FIX the relationship.
All of these are great ideas and actually work for a large percentage of people. However, for some, the more they emphasize on attacking the problem, the worse it gets.
How can this be? You have to take the bull by the horns, right? Well, most of the time you do. But not always.
There really is such a thing as trying too hard. Yes, believe it or not! Sometimes, I urge people to accept the feelings they are having. There can be a lot said by admitting that you are really nervous, angry, sad, or upset. Giving yourself permission to feel these things can actually help these unpleasant feelings pass.
The next time you have an unwanted feeling, try to stay with it for a bit and see what happens.