The Value Of A Smile

The Value Of A Smile
by Author Unknown

A smile cost nothing, but gives much.
It enriches those who receive,
Without making poorer those who give.
It takes but a moment,
But the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it,
And none is so poor but that he can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home,
Fosters good will in business,
And is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,
Cheer to the discouraged,
Sunshine to the sad,
And is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen,
For it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
Give them one of yours,
As none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.

Stress Management

Here are a couple of quick quips for managing stress:

If you allow others to make you stressed, you are allowing them to
control you. Do you really want others pulling your strings?

Look at stress as a test.

The only person responsible for your stress is you.

Stress is energy. Are you going to use this energy for something
productive or destructive?

Will it matter tomorrow? Next week? Next Month?

Skype Therapy?

Skype is a unique way to provide therapy services for many different
reasons. Just think about the ease of having a therapy session without
leaving the house. It also increases privacy because you know no one
will see you in a waiting room or walking into a clinic. It is also
important to mention that you save time and travel expenses.

Skype allows for both the client and therapist to see and hear one
another via the internet. Although face to face therapy is usually the
most beneficial, Skype is a great alternative due to its flexibility and
(usually) high quality of voice and video. I prefer a skype call over
a telephone call because it really does sound much more clear!

Many people are often leery of a Skype session and would rather make
office visits. I invite you to talk with me for a free 15 minute
mini-session to see how you like it.

Anger management, stress management, sexuality issues and even couples
therapy are all great topics for Skype therapy.

Talk Sex?

Sexuality is often one of those things people have great difficulty
discussing. So much of the time, people have sex, but they do not have
discussions about sex. I wonder how many of you do not really discuss
sex with your partner(s).

I see many people in my office and on the phone who are very sexually
active and are quite open minded. However, it is very interesting to
see that so many of them do not have solid adult to adult conversations
about sex. The lack of these conversations seems to result in
misunderstandings. I think of the classic story about the woman who
fakes her orgasm because she is afraid to tell her partner what feels
good. Maybe she thinks her partner will be offended if she asks him/her
to do a little less of that or a little more of this. Once the pattern
has been established, she has been "faking" for years! Wow, how do you
get out of that one?

I also see many couples who end up with diseases or feeling let down by
their sexual experiences. This is all because there is not honest face
to face discussion before the sexual activities begin. Remember, your
partner(s) is not going to know what feels good to you unless you tell
him or her! This is very important. Sometimes, the lack of
communication causes one to be lax about safer sex…and disease(s) happen.

I want you to look at how comfortable you are TALKING about sex, not
having it. Chances are, if you are able to increase your comfort level
with discussing this, then you will have a much better and safer sex life.

Prescription Sex Enhancing Drugs

Drugs = better sex?? When we watch TV, we get this message. If we
subscribe to much of the popular culture, we get this message. Is it
true? Well, I don't subscribe to this philosophy. Of course drugs can
enhance sex, but it often does not work and certainly has its drawbacks.

I see many people in my office who are having some sort of sex
problem…like lack of desire, impotence, or just boring sex. Often, they
have turned to prescription sex enhancing drugs to help them. Usually,
they are quite surprised when these drugs do not work as advertised.
Other times, I get couples who use illegal drugs to enhance their sexual
experiences. Again, they end up falling short. It might work
fantastically at first and then quickly lose its effects. Many drugs,
especially cocaine, end up having a negative effect on the sex life
after time.

So you may be wondering why I say these drugs often do not work. If
there is simply a physical problem, then these sex-enhancing drugs often
do the trick. Here is the kicker—Many people rely on drugs to help
their sex life because they have emotional and communication
difficulties that make sex very difficult. No matter the issue, if a
person relies on drugs to help them with a problem with communicating,
thinking, or behavior, it will not work unless they also make changes in
their attitude and lifestyle. People who rely on drugs alone often have
little benefit.

I want everyone who is using a drug to enhance their sex life to really
look at why they are choosing this as a "remedy." Is it a result of
difficulty talking about sex, feelings of guilt or nervousness during
sex, maybe it is the fact that you are angry with your partner and this
is making it difficult to perform. Would you believe that some people
take sex-enhancing drugs because they have so much anger towards their
partner that they are unable to become aroused without chemical help? I
know this exists because I have talked with several who admit this problem.

I am urging everyone who uses these sexual enhancing drugs to think
about the emotional side of sex and ask themselves if this is impacting
the actual mechanics of sex. Of course, if there is a physical or
hormonal problem causing sexual difficulty, then sex-enhancing drugs are
often beneficial.

Trying too hard?

MANAGE your anger. CONTROL your anxiety. STOP having panic attacks.
FIX the relationship.

All of these are great ideas and actually work for a large percentage of
people. However, for some, the more they emphasize on attacking the
problem, the worse it gets. How can this be? You have to take the bull
by the horns, right? Well, most of the time you do. But not always.

There really is such a thing as trying too hard. Yes, believe it or
not! Sometimes, I urge people to accept the feelings they are having.
There can be a lot said by admitting that you are really nervous, angry,
sad, or upset. Giving yourself permission to feel these things can
actually help these unpleasant feelings pass.

The next time you have an unwanted feeling, try to stay with it for a
bit and see what happens.

Yearly Mental Health Checkup

You are supposed to get a yearly physical, right? What about a yearly
mental? :) How many people check their mental health on a yearly
basis--even if there does not seem to be a problem? Few people actually
do this. However, I can think of at least one of my friends that does
something like this.

Why go for a mental health exam if you do not need it? There are so
many people that have stress creep up on them without seeing it. This
is a great way to use the help of a professional to see if stress is
becoming an issue. Also, it is a great time to look at what successes
you have had the past year and what you need to accomplish.

Once you start a dialogue with a mental health professional, you will
likely be surprised at the successes you have had and also those
challenges that may benefit from a bit of consultation.