Manage your Emotions

Marriage Counseling as a Last Resort?

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 01:14:00 +0000

I see a lot of couples in my office who are striving to better their
relationships and, often, save their relationships. The disturbing
trend I see is couples therapy or marriage counseling being used as a
last resort. Many couples will tell me that they have tried psychiatric
medication (often antidepressants) and different forms of arguing, as
well as separations, threats of lawsuits, and who knows what else. Of
course...this is all before trying couples therapy.

The problem I see is that many couples do not look for finding ways to
better their communication, appreciate one another, or develop ways to
settle differences. Instead, they are often caught up on who is right
or how to get revenge. When all else has failed and they are on the
brink of ending it forever, the couple calls me.

Marriage counseling and couples therapy works best when it is one of the
first resorts--not last. When therapy is the last resort, there is an
incredible amount of pressure put on each partner, as well as me! It is
much more difficult for therapy to help a couple reverse years of bad
habits, compared to helping the couple address these issues early on.

I urge couples to think about therapy as the second resort, instead of
the last one on the list. If you have waited to use therapy as a last
resort, there is plenty of hope. However, it will be more difficult and
probably require more sessions compared to that couple who used therapy
early on.

Many people view couples counseling as too expensive. However, I can
assure you that your visit with me will be just a very small fraction of
the cost of a divorce...and think about the heartache you may save.

Getting the Most out of Skype Therapy

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 00:20:00 +0000

When clients talk with me via phone or Skype, there are often things
they can do to better their experience. I want you to get the most out
of your session, so please look over these tips.

Tips for bettering your session:

Treat this session the same as you would if you were in my office.

Put the appointment on your calendar so it is not a surprise when I call
you! (this happens a lot)

Make sure you are in a quiet place, which is free from distractions.

Don't drive and talk!

Keep yourself focused during the discussion…don't try to do housework or
surf the web.

Give yourself 30 minutes before and after the session to think about our
discussion.

If you disagree with something I say, speak your mind! The last thing I
want is for you to just quit talking with me because you are upset. Who
knows, maybe I misheard you, which caused my response to be wrong.

Remember that some body language is missed over Skype (and all of it on
the phone), so please don't be afraid to be more verbally expressive.

The Value Of A Smile

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 21:27:00 +0000

The Value Of A Smile
by Author Unknown

A smile cost nothing, but gives much.
It enriches those who receive,
Without making poorer those who give.
It takes but a moment,
But the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it,
And none is so poor but that he can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home,
Fosters good will in business,
And is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,
Cheer to the discouraged,
Sunshine to the sad,
And is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen,
For it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
Give them one of yours,
As none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.

Stress Management

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 21:40:00 +0000

Here are a couple of quick quips for managing stress:

If you allow others to make you stressed, you are allowing them to
control you. Do you really want others pulling your strings?

Look at stress as a test.

The only person responsible for your stress is you.

Stress is energy. Are you going to use this energy for something
productive or destructive?

Will it matter tomorrow? Next week? Next Month?

Skype Therapy?

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 06:28:00 +0000

Skype is a unique way to provide therapy services for many different
reasons. Just think about the ease of having a therapy session without
leaving the house. It also increases privacy because you know no one
will see you in a waiting room or walking into a clinic. It is also
important to mention that you save time and travel expenses.

Skype allows for both the client and therapist to see and hear one
another via the internet. Although face to face therapy is usually the
most beneficial, Skype is a great alternative due to its flexibility and
(usually) high quality of voice and video. I prefer a skype call over
a telephone call because it really does sound much more clear!

Many people are often leery of a Skype session and would rather make
office visits. I invite you to talk with me for a free 15 minute
mini-session to see how you like it.

Anger management, stress management, sexuality issues and even couples
therapy are all great topics for Skype therapy.

Talk Sex?

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 03:23:00 +0000

Sexuality is often one of those things people have great difficulty
discussing. So much of the time, people have sex, but they do not have
discussions about sex. I wonder how many of you do not really discuss
sex with your partner(s).

I see many people in my office and on the phone who are very sexually
active and are quite open minded. However, it is very interesting to
see that so many of them do not have solid adult to adult conversations
about sex. The lack of these conversations seems to result in
misunderstandings. I think of the classic story about the woman who
fakes her orgasm because she is afraid to tell her partner what feels
good. Maybe she thinks her partner will be offended if she asks him/her
to do a little less of that or a little more of this. Once the pattern
has been established, she has been "faking" for years! Wow, how do you
get out of that one?

I also see many couples who end up with diseases or feeling let down by
their sexual experiences. This is all because there is not honest face
to face discussion before the sexual activities begin. Remember, your
partner(s) is not going to know what feels good to you unless you tell
him or her! This is very important. Sometimes, the lack of
communication causes one to be lax about safer sex…and disease(s) happen.

I want you to look at how comfortable you are TALKING about sex, not
having it. Chances are, if you are able to increase your comfort level
with discussing this, then you will have a much better and safer sex life.

Prescription Sex Enhancing Drugs

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 04:06:00 +0000

Drugs = better sex?? When we watch TV, we get this message. If we
subscribe to much of the popular culture, we get this message. Is it
true? Well, I don't subscribe to this philosophy. Of course drugs can
enhance sex, but it often does not work and certainly has its drawbacks.

I see many people in my office who are having some sort of sex
problem…like lack of desire, impotence, or just boring sex. Often, they
have turned to prescription sex enhancing drugs to help them. Usually,
they are quite surprised when these drugs do not work as advertised.
Other times, I get couples who use illegal drugs to enhance their sexual
experiences. Again, they end up falling short. It might work
fantastically at first and then quickly lose its effects. Many drugs,
especially cocaine, end up having a negative effect on the sex life
after time.

So you may be wondering why I say these drugs often do not work. If
there is simply a physical problem, then these sex-enhancing drugs often
do the trick. Here is the kicker—Many people rely on drugs to help
their sex life because they have emotional and communication
difficulties that make sex very difficult. No matter the issue, if a
person relies on drugs to help them with a problem with communicating,
thinking, or behavior, it will not work unless they also make changes in
their attitude and lifestyle. People who rely on drugs alone often have
little benefit.

I want everyone who is using a drug to enhance their sex life to really
look at why they are choosing this as a "remedy." Is it a result of
difficulty talking about sex, feelings of guilt or nervousness during
sex, maybe it is the fact that you are angry with your partner and this
is making it difficult to perform. Would you believe that some people
take sex-enhancing drugs because they have so much anger towards their
partner that they are unable to become aroused without chemical help? I
know this exists because I have talked with several who admit this problem.

I am urging everyone who uses these sexual enhancing drugs to think
about the emotional side of sex and ask themselves if this is impacting
the actual mechanics of sex. Of course, if there is a physical or
hormonal problem causing sexual difficulty, then sex-enhancing drugs are
often beneficial.

Trying too hard?

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 21:28:00 +0000

MANAGE your anger. CONTROL your anxiety. STOP having panic attacks.
FIX the relationship.

All of these are great ideas and actually work for a large percentage of
people. However, for some, the more they emphasize on attacking the
problem, the worse it gets. How can this be? You have to take the bull
by the horns, right? Well, most of the time you do. But not always.

There really is such a thing as trying too hard. Yes, believe it or
not! Sometimes, I urge people to accept the feelings they are having.
There can be a lot said by admitting that you are really nervous, angry,
sad, or upset. Giving yourself permission to feel these things can
actually help these unpleasant feelings pass.

The next time you have an unwanted feeling, try to stay with it for a
bit and see what happens.

Yearly Mental Health Checkup

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 02:23:00 +0000

You are supposed to get a yearly physical, right? What about a yearly
mental? :) How many people check their mental health on a yearly
basis--even if there does not seem to be a problem? Few people actually
do this. However, I can think of at least one of my friends that does
something like this.

Why go for a mental health exam if you do not need it? There are so
many people that have stress creep up on them without seeing it. This
is a great way to use the help of a professional to see if stress is
becoming an issue. Also, it is a great time to look at what successes
you have had the past year and what you need to accomplish.

Once you start a dialogue with a mental health professional, you will
likely be surprised at the successes you have had and also those
challenges that may benefit from a bit of consultation.

Teens

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:53:00 +0000

Teens are often a group of people who would significantly benefit from
therapy, but their parents often do not let them get the help they need.
This could be due to a variety of reasons. Maybe the parent does not
recognize the teen needs help, maybe there is too much of a stigma about
going to a therapist, or maybe the parent thinks the teen will "get over
it."

Getting help for your teenager is often the best thing you can do for
him or her. This is the time that the body AND mind of a teenager are
maturing while struggling to break out of an immature mind and body.

Therapy can help to get your teen on track and to help make it more
likely that he or she will be successful in school, which will
ultimately impact what career will be had, as well as his/her family and
so on.

Does your teen need help? Here are a few things to watch out for:

*Angers easily
*Suspensions/Detentions
*Stressed all the time
*Appears very anxious
*Frequent arguments in the family
*Appears depressed
*Isolation
*They just aren't themselves and you don't know why

I am available to consult with a parent about their teen's behavior. If
there are problems with your teen, then we will make a plan of
individual, family, and group...whichever combination is appropriate.

I can't...

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Fri, 08 May 2009 02:15:00 +0000

One of the things that really gets me is when a person spends several
minutes telling me why he or she cannot do something. Think about
it...how many people do you know who spend so much of their time and
energy telling you why they can't do something? I bet you can think of
a few.

Here is a thought...instead of telling people why you cannot do
something, tell people what you are wanting to do. When you spend all
of that time and energy explaining why you cannot do something or why
something won't work, you are left with very little time and energy to
actually accomplish something! You have a limited time and energy--why
waste it on discussing why you can't do something.

You have to make things happen by talking about what you are going to
do. I have never seen anyone get anywhere by complaining about what
they don't have. Remember, when there is no wind--row!

Marriage Counseling

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 03:33:00 +0000

People often come to me for marriage counseling. Actually, I prefer to
call it couples counseling because I see all types of couples- many who
do not fit into that marriage category.

I come from the perspective that both people in the relationship have
some responsibility for the good things in the relationship, as well as
the bad stuff. Often I get a partner in the relationship or marriage
who states that it is all the other person's fault. As we talk more, it
becomes more and more apparent to both people that there is
responsibility on each side.

In a typical marriage counseling or couples therapy session, I help the
pair find their strengths in the relationship, as well as what they need
to work on. Often, there is a focus on communication skills. Once the
communication improves, the rest of of the relationship often follows.
I also help to facilitate communication between the couple. Maybe there
is a topic that is so touchy that it cannot be discussed without a huge
fight. I can help by acting as the moderator. We'll all handle it in a
therapeutic way.

I offer extended sessions for marriage counseling and couples therapy.
Often, the standard 45 minutes session is not enough. I have the option
of a two hour session to help you get down to business.

Mental Health Vs. Mental Illness

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 03:47:00 +0000

We hear so much about Mental Illness on a regular basis. That is one of
those terms that is frequently thrown around. Actually, I don't care
for the term at all. Who wants to be told they have a Mental Illness?
I doubt many do.

I come from the perspective of Mental Health. Instead of concentrating
on illness or problems, I help my clients focus on the positives. Just
think, if a therapist focuses on the symptoms of Mental Illness, most of
the time and energy is spent discussing the problem, which is demotivating.

When the focus is on Mental Health, the time and energy is spent on
being healthy. Everyone has good things about their Mental Health. I
want to help my clients to build on what they already have.

If you look at the term Mental Illness, it implies that there is a
biological basis, which is causing a mental problem. Although some
people do have a biological basis for their problems, well over half of
my clients do not have any biologically based problems. Anyone's Mental
Health can suffer due to problems with family, work, friends, and other
stressors. Therefore, I stay away from the Mental Illness perspective
as much as possible and focusing on helping the client improve Mental
Health.

Nerves and First Visit

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:57:00 +0000

A lot of people are very nervous about their first visit to a therapist.
Whether this is their first time in therapy or if this is the first
visit to a new therapist, it can be very nerve-racking!

I urge every person who is thinking of becoming a client to call their
therapist before the first visit. If that therapist will not return
their call, then the therapist probably does not have time for you. By
talking with the therapist over the phone, you will be able to walk into
that session with a little bit of an idea about them and will know what
to expect.

It may take some pressure off to realize that a first visit is a time
for both client and therapist to get to know one another. There are no
obligations at this point. If you like the therapist, then you can
schedule a therapy appointment. If you do not care for the therapist,
then you can let the therapist know that you do not feel it will be a
good match and keep looking for someone who you think will be able to
help you.

Doing anything the first time is often uncomfortable and difficult.
Usually, with time, things get much easier. Be brave and make that
first visit. Remember that it is your choice if you continue in therapy.

Why pay for health care?

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 04:41:00 +0000

Money is a sensitive subject for most. I can't blame anyone for wanting
to save money or cringing when they have to spend money on health care.
I will never forget when I worked at Wal-Mart while in school and
seeing people get very angry when they thought they were charged one or
two dollars more then they should have.

I think there is something that makes us think we should not have to
spend money on our own health care or it should be very cheap. Where
does this belief come from? I don't know. It would be great if it were
true. However, it is not free or even cheap in this country. I wish it
were.

When the average person pays $1000 to fix their car, they normally don't
like it, but go ahead and do it because they need it to be fixed. After
spending that money, they see the value in it and go on. Ironically,
when a client spends just a fraction of this sum of money on health
care, such as coming to counseling (Which most of my clients don't spend
any ways near $1000.) or going to a doctor, they don't want to do it,
complain, avoid it, try to get out of paying and so on.

What is wrong with this picture of people not seeing health care, such
as counseling, as valuable as something like getting their car fixed?
The car will last a few more years at best. When a person spends money
on their own health, such as counseling, that will often last many years
and often change their life for the long term. It is very possible that
counseling will also benefit family, friends, and others.

Ask yourself if your mental health is worth a few hundred dollars...I
know your car is likely worth many times more to you.

Family Therapy

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 18:35:00 +0000

Depending on the situation, family therapy is often one of the more
helpful options. Think about this: We are all impacted by those around
us. This means that we are all part of a system. If one person goes to
therapy and changes, but the other family members (system) do not
change, then how can we expect lasting results?

I encourage all of my clients to bring friends and family members to
therapy. This will help to improve the environment for all. This also
provides an opportunity for another person's opinion and perspective to
be brought into the room, which may shed new light on problems that are
being worked on and point out progress that has been made.

Family therapy can be as simple as bringing one family member or
bringing your entire household. I recognize that a person is not always
comfortable discussing everything in front of their family members.
That is why I often do some individual sessions as a chance to allow the
client some privacy.

Family therapy is most helpful for:

*Family communication problems
*Children with behavior problems
*A person who wants additional support in therapy
*A person who needs therapy, but will not come alone

Anger and Disrespect

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:20:00 +0000

Out of my work with all the anger management clients, I am told that
"being disrespected" is the number one thing that makes them angry.
This makes sense. Who would not be angry with being disrespected?

Here is my question: What does it mean to be disrespected. My clients
have a variety of answers for this one. I do not think there is any one
consensus on the definition of "being disrespected." It is a feeling
that people get and they know it when they see it. Since this feeling
is rather subjective, I want to point out that there is a great
possibility that its the person's thinking that is causing them to feel
disrespected, even when there is truly no disrespect.

A person often feels disrespected when, for example, their child does
not do as they are told. However, does the child say, "I want to
disrespect my parent by not doing as I am told."? I really doubt that.
The problem here is the parent views the behavior as "disrespectful,"
instead of seeing that there may be many reasons the child does not do
as he/she is told (because they simply don't want to do it, they have
ADHD, they have some strong negative feeling and so on).

I encourage my clients to look at the actions behind another person's
"disrespect." A lot of people behave in a "disrespectful" manner
because they are scared, they are trying to look tough to cover
insecurities, they are blind to their own behavior, or they are simply
angry in general.

If you immediately tell yourself that you are being disrespected when a
person does not behave the way you want them to, remind yourself that
you are jumping to conclusions and then think about the alternative
reasons the person is acting that way. Few people make it a goal to
disrespect others.

Anger Iceberg

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 02:59:00 +0000

Anger is like an iceberg. There is that tip that is sticking out, which
everyone sees. So, it is not difficult to see when a person is angry.
However, Icebergs have about 90% more to them that what meets the eye.
Anger is the same way.

Anger is the symptom. Symptom of what? Well, it is different for each
person. Many people's anger iceberg includes fears, insecurities,
bottled up frustrations, hurt pride, feelings of disrespect, and
various other emotions.

Given that it is usually quite easy to see a person's anger, but
difficult to see the rest of their anger iceberg, the task of helping a
person reduce his or her anger often takes a bit of detective work. The
best way to control a person's anger is for them to ask "What is making
me feel this way?" When the person examines his or her feelings causing
the anger, then the problem can be addressed. If there is simply a
focus on deep breathing, counting to ten and meditation, this will only
treat the symptom and is doomed to fail in the long run.

Here are some quick one liners that a person can repeat to reduce anger:

* Will [whatever makes me angry] matter one year from now? Will it
matter one week from now?
* What right do I have that is being violated?
* How would the average person respond to this?
* How is getting angry about this really going to change anything?
* Other than anger, what else am I feeling?
* What belief do I have that is making me angry? Is that belief
reasonable?

Anger Iceberg Handout

Is Online Coaching Right for Me?

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 05:26:00 +0000

Online coaching is different from counseling or therapy because it is
not face to face and cannot provide that high level of care. However,
online coaching is great for those who have questions or want to learn
how to manage anger, anxiety, depression, or learn how to have a better
relationship.

Online coaching can be done via email, chat, webcam, or telephone. Any
of these methods can be a great alternative to an office visit. The
benefits include working around your schedule by utilizing sessions of
an evening and late night. There is also increased privacy as a result
of not having to come to a clinic and be seen by others. Online
coaching is also very beneficial for people who are not yet ready to
come to therapy or are unable to do so because of their busy schedule or
a disability. The cost of online coaching is significantly less than
that of a traditional therapy session because of lowered rates and the
amount of travel time that is saved.

Online coaching is a fantastic way to see if you like what I have to
offer. If you like what you get, you might want to come in for a face
to face session. If you don't like how things are working out, then I
can provide you with another therapist who could be of help.

You might be wondering about long distance charges. I will call you if
you live in the US or Canada. If you have an ATT cell phone, I will use
my ATT phone to call you so that it does not count against your anytime
minutes.

Visit my online coaching section of my website
to learn more.

Medication Vs. Counseling

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 01:38:00 +0000

There is seldom a day that goes past where I don't have a client who
comes to me with a great concern that their medications are not working.
Often, when I ask what they are doing for themselves, they develop a
rather puzzled look on their face. Most of the time, they say that they
just wait for the medication to take effect.

More and more, society is putting focus on medications while ignoring
personal responsibility. It is very easy to blame a chemical imbalance
in the brain when one becomes angry and harms someone, or when a person
does not have enough motivation to get a job or leave the house. When
people have these problems, an overwhelming number of them focus on the
perceived need for medications and then are displeased to find that
these medications often do not fix the problem. Really, I can't blame a
person for feeling that they should take a medication when they have
such a problem. We have a society that has a huge focus on medications
and there are frequent prescription drug commercials on TV.

I want everyone to realize that there is a need for medication in many
cases. The current prescription medications are helpful for many people
and lets them function. I think it is important to point out that
people who take meds also need to take care of their mental health by
looking at their thinking, how they interact with others, and their
level of physical activity.

If people continue to place themselves in stressful environments,
isolate themselves, have a lot of negative thinking, and get little
exercise, they will likely have minimal benefit from a medication only
approach. How can one attain significant changes if they do not change
their thinking and behaviors?

What does counseling have to offer that medication does not? Well,
medication helps to decrease symptoms so that a person can function.
Counseling helps a person identify the causes of these symptoms. Often,
these causes are a result of some sort of a relationship problem.
Sometimes feelings of depression and anger are stemming from ourselves
because we concentrate on negative things and continue to be ourselves
up. How can a person feel good if there is continued negative self talk
and continued relationship problems which cause very stressful
environments?

I want everyone to realize that there are chemical and behavioral
(thinking and doing) sides to our problems. Not everyone needs
medications. Many people can manage their emotions by participating in
therapy and changing their thinking and behaviors.

I urge everyone to first give therapy a try. If that doesn't work, or
has little success, then there may be a need for medication in addition
to therapy.

What to Expect from Counseling

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 03:42:00 +0000

Many people are afraid to come to a counseling session because they find
it too intimidating. I can't blame them. Heck, I find it difficult to
go to the doctor when I am feeling sick and can't go to work. So, it is
a new experience and often provokes some natural anxiety. Your first
session is the hardest and it gets easier from there!

Here are some of the questions I've been asked:

* Am I any less of a man for coming to counseling?
No. If counseling weren't manly, I wouldn't be doing it! I'll tell you
that its much more manly to deal with your problems, compared to being
too proud and trying to handle everything yourself. This way of
thinking usually makes things a lot worse.

* Are you trying to find a mental illness?
No, I'm not. I want to talk with you in order to gain an understanding
of both the problems you want to work on, where those problems are
coming from, and what is going RIGHT in on your life. Yes, its
important to talk about the successes in your life and not just dwell on
the negatives.

* Will you want to spend all the time discussing my childhood.
No, I want to help you work on what you came here to address. I find it
to usually be a waste of time to have an emphasis on the past. It is
over and done with. There may be times that it needs to be understood,
but having a primary focus on the past is often frustrating on the
client and does little good. Lets focus on the here and now, which will
likely help you feel better quickly!

* Do I have to be mentally ill in order to go to Counseling?
What? No. Counseling is to help people work though problems. If you
had to be mentally ill to have a problem, then we'd all be crazy as
loons. There is no shame in seeking an outsider's view on a problem you
have. Actually, its a sign of good mental hygiene!

* How long will this take? Will I be in therapy for years?
Most people finish up their counseling sessions within 10 sessions or
less. This is because we focus on the here and now. I also give
homework assignments, so people can get more value out of their
counseling. That is, they are able to work on their counseling when
they are outside my office. This means that you will obtain quicker
results and have less money invested. If you happen to take more than
10 sessions, don't worry about it. It goes back to how everybody is
different and not everyone moves at the same pace.

* Are you a mind-reader?
No. I wish I was! You'll have to tell me why you are coming in and a
little bit about yourself. :)

* Is this confidential?
Yes. What we discuss does not go beyond you and I, unless you give
written permission for me to disclose information about your sessions,
such as if you are referred by probation, a lawyer, and so on. The only
time I can tell anyone your business is if you are going to kill
yourself, you are going to hurt someone, there is child abuse, or a
judge orders me to disclose your information.

* Is this anonymous?
No. Others may see you walk into my office. So, you could be seen. No
one would know your business, though. If you feel that you could not
risk being see at my office, some coaching via telephone or email is an
option. That is pretty anonymous.

*What types of counseling do you do?
I specialize in anger management, anxiety, and sexuality of various
types (such as transgender, sexual orientation, sexual dysfunction,
sexual harassment, sexual addiction, and sexual questions in general).
However, I also work with depression, bipolar disorder and a variety of
issues. I do individual, group, family, and couples counseling.

*Do I need medication?
Counseling is the primary focus. A high number of people get better by
therapy alone. Changing your thinking and your behavior usually is
enough for people to return to functional lives. However, if therapy is
not working, then we will discuss referring you to have a medication
evaluation. Medication alone often masks symptoms and does not get at
the root of the problem.

*Will you fix me?
No, I will not. However, I will help you fix yourself. I can give you
ideas, you can bounce things off me, we can work together to find
solutions. However, I cannot make things better for you. Remember, you
are the one who needs to do the hard work and I can help.

*What is your primary focus on therapy?
I want to talk about what is on your mind. You are the one that guides
the conversation. I can provide some information and direction and
information, if needed. However, I really want you to be the one who is
running the show.

Do you have any additional questions that I have not answered? Leave a
comment and I'll respond.

Is counseling or therapy right for me?

noreply@blogger.com (Buck Black) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 04:11:00 +0000

Counseling or Therapy (Depending on what you like to call it) is about
working though life's problems. You might be thinking that you can
handle all of these problems yourself. Well, most of us need someone to
bounce ideas off of. This is even more helpful when that person is
someone who is impartial, outside of the situation, and does not have an
emotional investment in you. If you rely on friends, they will likely
not tell you how it is because of fear that they will offend you!

So, you might be wondering if you have to be mentally ill in order to go
to counseling. Not at all. Most of the people who come to see me are
not mentally ill. Rather, the people who come to counseling are those
who feel like they need some guidance, consultation, or education on a
particular subject (often something related to how to manage teenagers,
anger, anxiety or sexuality).

If you are still wondering if counseling is right for you, feel free to call
(765-446-9898) or email me to discuss things further.